Self-doubt can hold you back from fulfilling your true potential, but what can you do about it? NH investigates…
I can’t do this. When was the last time this phrase came to mind? Perhaps it was while you wobbled and swayed during your morning yoga flow, or this afternoon at work as you found yourself thinking: ‘I’m not as good as her, so I’ll probably never get promoted’. Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Even the most self-assured individual has fleeting moments when they’ve wondered if something they were attempting to do was the right thing, or if it were even possible for them to achieve it. But there comes a time when this common lack of belief or negative self-talk can become an issue. “Negative self-talk combines your conscious thoughts with your unconscious beliefs and biases,” explains life and business coach Pandora Paloma (rootedliving.co ). “It’s a very effective way for your brain to interpret and process your daily experiences, both good and bad. It’s often based on beliefs which are formed from birth to the age of six through what you experience, observe and what you’re told.” Everyone wants to live joyful, meaningful lives, so what can you change to think positively and feel better about yourself?
Change your self-talk
Being willing to make a conscious change and recognising that self-doubt is there, but isn’t allowed in the driving seat anymore, is the best place to start. Pandora likes to take her clients through a particular process. First, acknowledge what you’re saying in your head and ask yourself: ‘Where has this belief come from?’. Then, in order to shift your limiting beliefs into something more positive, accept what you need to release and what you need to come to terms with. “Writing this down in a journal is one of the most powerful ways to do this, as the element of releasing comes through when written down,” says Pandora.
Examine negative thoughts
Taking a minute to close your eyes and connect with your self-talk is encouraged by Pandora: “Start checking in with it on a daily basis by listening to the quality of it and what it’s saying.” The more you learn to recognise and listen to your inner critic, the easier it will become to understand where it’s coming from, whether that is your inner child or certain beliefs you’ve picked up on your journey through life.
Although exploring limiting beliefs can help, it’s also advisable not to dwell on and reinforce these negative thoughts. “Instead, use a positive mindset to examine what you can think and do differently,” advises mind coach Anna Williamson (@annawilliamsonofficial ). “The unconscious mind doesn’t process negatives, so focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want,” Anna explains further.
Shift to positive self-belief
Every time you speak negatively, your body senses it and absorbs it into your cells, muscles, tissues and organs. “It can have an impact on all areas of your life including family, work, health and your relationships,” says Anna. “The more negative the thought, the deeper it goes. So, changing how you think is a huge part of moving forwards in a positive way,” she explains. But just thinking positively doesn’t always quite cut it. Pandora suggests using an emotional freedom technique (EFT) or matrix reimprinting to help reprogramme negative self-talk. For more tips and suggestions, visit rootedliving.co – the good news is, with a few simple tweaks, you can silence your inner critic for good.
Tracking unwanted emotional energy
This exercise helps to uncover underlying negative emotions that are stifling energy flow. Choose a time when you won’t be disturbed, ideally somewhere where you can make a noise if you want to. You might choose to have some cushions or pillows around you. If you feel overly anxious about doing this exercise, have someone with you who you trust totally. If it feels very scary, you may need to explore this area with some professional help.
1. Lie down on the floor, on a comfortable mat or rug.
2. Spend some time breathing slowly and deeply.
3. Become aware of your body. Where are you holding tension? Where do you feel discomfort? Pinpoint the place and the feeling.
4. Now exaggerate the feeling. So, if you are clenching your jaw, clench it harder.
5. What does your body want to do or say? Don’t think; just let your body follow its need. You might find yourself spitting out words or phrases; you might curl up in a ball; you might lash out at a cushion; you might do nothing.
6. Within safe limits, give your body permission to do whatever it needs in order to express its repressed emotional energy.
7. When you feel your body has had enough for this session, lie quietly once more and return to your breathing.
8. Stand up and stamp your feet to return to normal awareness. You may wish to write down what happened.
Extracted from The Energy Secret: Practices and Rituals to Unlock your Inner Energy for Healing and Happiness by Jane Alexander (£14.99, Kyle Books)
