Have you ever heard the fable about the frog in boiling water? The premise is simple: if you place a frog in boiling water, it will instantly jump out, scalded by the heat, and hop away. Hower, if you put a frog in tepid water and very slowly increase the temperature, it will most likely boil to death without even realising. The same premise might be applied to a nervous breakdown.
“A nervous breakdown can sometimes be caused by an underlying mental health condition such as anxiety, depression, acute stress or even PTSD”, explains Michael Padraig Acton, psychological therapist and author of Learning How To Leave: A Practical Guide to Stepping Away From Toxic & Narcissistic Relationships (mpamind.com ). “In which case, it is important to identify the underlying illness as soon as possible so that appropriate help can be sought.” However, sometimes everyday stresses can build to an intolerable level, almost without someone realising, leading to a point where the person feels unbearable mental distress which affects their ability to function in life.
Mentally, this can leave you feeling down, sad, alone, hopeless, fatigued and just not knowing what to do with yourself. “Feeling cloudy and unable to focus on any task at a given time impacts your productivity,” adds Rochelle Knowles, certified holistic health and life coach and founder of Mindful Eyes Movement (mindful-eyes.com ). “And not having the energy for even basic things like brushing your teeth, showering and taking pride in how you dress can have a further knock-on effect on your situation, causing withdrawal from social interaction, work, friends and all aspects of life. Stress over a prolonged period can even cause physical pain, in the form of headaches and digestive issues, if not addressed.”
The final straw
For Debi Wallbank, it was a combination of things. “I had recently gone through a divorce and I was having trouble at work with a combination of depression and the onset of perimenopause. This led to job loss and, ultimately, I had to relocate from my home town to be closer to friends and family. It got to the point where I couldn’t face going back to a nine-to-five job as the fatigue was taking over my life.”
Having tried her hand at another business that didn’t get off the ground, Debi moved in with her mum and eventually started to spiral. “I could barely get out of bed,” Debi says. “All I wanted to do was to be asleep all the time as I couldn’t deal with people, conversation, or any kind of social interaction. The thought of doing any work by this point crippled me with anxiety. I couldn’t even wash myself on a daily basis.
“My lowest point was Christmas 2020, which is normally my favourite time of year. On Christmas Eve I got so drunk I can’t remember going to bed. I stayed in bed all of Christmas Day and Boxing Day which is something I’d never have done before. I actually contemplated the possibility of never waking up again. Looking back, I had a severe lack of interest in my personal hygiene and appearance, and this should have been an early warning sign, but I didn’t really understand what was going on until it was too late.”
Warning signs
So, what warning signs can we look out for and how can we bounce back? If you are suffering from anxiety and panic attacks, you’re consistently exhausted, or notice a change in behaviours, such as sleeping less, not exercising, and eating more or less, this is not just a normal part of having a busy life, you may be close to burn out. “You might find you’re suddenly unable to focus or feeling more flustered than normal,” says Rochelle. “Or it might manifest as being unusually irritable, unable to control your emotions, or not wanting to be around family and friends as much. Reach out for help sooner rather than later.”
“The signs can vary depending on the underlying illness,” adds Michael. “For example, some people may experience depressive symptoms such as low mood and suicidal ideation. Others may display anxiety-like symptoms, which can present as hyperventilation, fear or trembling. On a behavioural level, someone having a nervous breakdown might avoid social occasions or regularly ring in sick for work. If we feel absolutely drained or unable to function without great effort, it’s a sign to seek help.”
