Alison Davies explores the spiritual side of keeping your cool
Alison Davies explores the spiritual side of keeping your cool
Everyone gets angry. It is a natural human emotion, and a healthy response if channelled correctly. But anger can be destructive if it involves hurting another person through physical or verbal abuse, or if we let it fester. “We hold on to anger in different ways. This manifests physically, particularly in the stomach, or bowel area,” says wellbeing expert Kirsten Riddle. “It can cause blockages in the aura, which means that the energy doesn’t flow correctly. So if you’re always feeling tired, this could because you’re letting anger rule your life,”she adds.
This type of emotion is often a reaction to feeling threatened, or because you are harbouring resentment or pain. So how do we deal with it in a positive way?
Release and upgrade
Therapist Sue Tribe believes that anger can be passed down the ancestral line as well as being held in the unconscious mind. Sue who uses a mixture of ‘trauma processing’ and constellations therapy, alongside shamanic healing and hypnotherapy , says that we should think of our minds and bodies like a computer.“If someone in 2012 was using an old computer programme it would need several big upgrades to get it to a place where it coul dutilise today’s information. Our minds and bodies are similar,” she adds. “I help my clients recognise that what they are thinking and feeling is out of date or they will keep repeating negative behaviour. We need to update our way of thinking or we continue using old methods to process information and this can cause problems.”
Calm and collected?
When the red mist descends, Sue suggests using these coping strategies:
Take several deep breaths and focus on the exhale and the inhale. Become aware of how far you are breathing into your belly. Breath in and hold for two to three seconds and then exhale slowly. Some people find it useful to imagine their breath as a colour going around their body.When we are angry we shallow breathe so this technique helps you to calm down.
Remove yourself from the situation. Simple as it seems, when we fail to do this, things can escalate.
Go out and do something physical. This might be to walk, or running or just try jumping up and down on the spot. It helps disperse the chemicals building up in your muscles.
Remember that the emotion of anger will pass even if you don’t act on it.
Analyse your anger. Sometimes when we are angry it’s not with the person in front of us,but with someone else. The person we are getting angry at could be a reminder of someone else or another time when we felt a similar way. Often childhood hurts and humiliations get re-enacted as adults through anger.
Practice self-talk. This is a way of re-structuring negative thoughts by talking to yourself about how you could change the situation to create a positive outcome.
“You need to un-learn negative responses and choose to act”
For more information on Sue Tribe check out her website nottinghamhypnotherapy.co.uk or email Sue atsuetribe@suetribe.co.uk
Try THIS!
To release anger you need to reflect on previous behaviour and teach your self to change“Anger is a learnt, conditioned response,” explains NLP master Kim Blackmore. “This means that you can un-learn this response and choose to act in anew way that gets you the results you want and have a healthy body, self-esteem and great relationships,” she adds.
Kim suggests this reflective visualisation:
Imagine floating up above your body.Below you can see or feel that you are looking down on the day in its entirety.
What can you learn from today that will allow you to let go of any anger that you experienced?
Ask yourself what result do I want instead?An example would be,‘communication is my responsibility. I can decide to change how I communicate when someone doesn’t understand what I’m saying.’
Then imagine floating down inside the today and notice how the anger has disappeared.
Imagine floating back into the now and drift off to sleep
Kim Blackmore provided this process adapted from Creating Your Future Techniques– developed by Dr Tad James. To find out more about Kim Blackmore visit indigoeagle.com
The other side…
Dealing with outbursts is a two-way street. If you’re the person on the receiving end, it can be difficult and scary.How you react could inflame the situation. Practice this advice from Kristen Riddle when anger is directed at you.
BREATHE
Just as the person dealing with anger needs to focus on their breath, so do you. It will help you calm down, and think clearly.
USE YOUR IMAGINATION
Their anger may be coming from a place where they feel hurt and ashamed. It is their way of voicing their frustrations, just as a child might throw a tantrum because they cannot explain how they feel.
HAVE A RED CARD
If this person has a problem with anger, and you are able to discuss it calmly, suggest a ‘red card’ alert. You can hold it up when you can see them slipping into anger mode.Choose something they find amusing or comforting, and make it a sign that they must take a moment and step back from the situation.
WALK AWAY
It’s not always easy to remove yourself from a situation, but if you can,adding space and giving the other person time to work through their emotions will help.
Think of youranger as a red light.Now gradually imagine turning the brightness down until it becomes a soft and soothing shade of pink.
Get therapy…
Many therapies and practices help with anger issues, here are some of the best:
Cognitive behavioural therapy
This is a type of counselling that helps patients behave differently and change the way they think about situations. It looks at developing coping mechanisms for the future.
This therapy works by putting patients in a relaxed state, so that they are able to communicate with their subconscious and workt hrough any triggers, or past traumas that might affect their anger.
Using the same techniques as hypnotherapy, past-life regression helps the patient explore previous lives and incarnations that may have an effect on their behaviour in this life. able to move forward and break repetitive cycles.
Meditation works by calming the mind and putting the individual into a state of awareness. By changing the focus, and bringing a sense of peace, stressful triggers can be avoided.
The physical practice of yoga helps because the mind becomes focused on what the body is doing. Devotees learn meditation techniques and the importance of breathing correctly, which in turn calms the mind.
Article by
Alison Davies
Well-being Expert
Article by
Alison Davies
Well-being Expert